Assimilation is About Power, Not Preferences

I have received and facilitated workplace diversity trainings pretty regularly for 5 years. I have written and refined social justice lessons into my math curriculum. I mention both of these things to say that I have spent more time than many others paying attention to how people engage with identity work. I have spent a lot of time being taught responsible ways of engaging people of various ages in these difficult conversations, and, through trial and error, have learned strategies that help people process these ideas and feelings.

I’m in a workplace diversity training.

I understand why we are doing ice-breakers first, I understand why people who are further along in their identity development are frustrated, I understand the ways in which facilitating this conversation for 144 people is different than 15 people like our facilitator is used to, and so I do what more experienced people did during my first large facilitation experiences--invite people to re-engage, help explain the intentionality behind the structure so people understand the difficulties, etc.

A (white, male, middle-aged) teacher doesn’t like ice breakers, so he is sitting. A couple of people try and encourage him to join, but he doesn’t want to, so we leave him alone. During the discussion following the activity, we begin talking about assimilation. He says, “I feel like I’m being asked to assimilate by participating in this discussion,” and walks out.

It goes unaddressed.

Later, a (male, older, asian) teacher says that he’s offended by the other teacher’s actions, because he trivialized what assimilation actually is and how it affects people. Assimilation means that you experience violence when you try to opt out. Assimilation means you can’t opt out. Assimilation is stripping you away from your culture and punishing you for trying to hold onto any part of it. Assimilation isn’t being asked to participate in something unappealing to you, like having to pick between two desserts when you’d prefer a savory snack. The stakes are different here--what happens when you opt out?

Assimilation means losing your job because you decide to peacefully protest during the anthem.

Assimilation means being receiving death threats from parents when you want to use the bathroom at school, and having to move schools because you are no longer safe.

Assimilation means having your name changed from Carlitos to Jamison and not being returned to your mother when her immigration proceedings are cleared.

Assimilation is colonialism. And it doesn’t exist in a historical vacuum that we can remove ourselves from--it happens now, today, this minute. Some of it happens in our classrooms, which was the whole point of this training. To compare experiencing assimilation to participating in workplace icebreakers is to compare experiencing sexual assault to being assigned to sit next to someone you don’t like on a seating chart.

I wanted to ask the teacher to consider what might happen if a student walked out of their science class because they didn’t want to “assimilate” by doing their bellwork. Would they let the student leave? Would that student get in trouble? Would it negatively impact their grade?

We never defined assimilation before, during, or after this diversity training.

I’m disappointed that the facilitators didn’t address this. I’m wondering if anyone who had already built trust with the teacher followed up with him after he walked out.

And I’m wondering what my role is, in a new community, in deciding when and how to speak up when I notice things like this happening.