Revolutionary Road, by Richard Yates

If I had read this book at any other time in my life, I wouldn't have understood it.

This book is about the existential crisis many 20-somethings experience when they try to figure out how to be happy.

Frank and April are the coffee-house dwelling hipsters who don't want to live a life "beneath" them. The ones who think having a desk job would be wasting their intellectual and creative abilities. The ones who want to live in hip, urban cities. They don't, so they're unhappy.

But the reason Frank and April are unhappy has nothing to do with where they live or what they do.

They're unhappy because they're not authentic. They're scared that their authentic selves are mediocre, so they pretend to be cosmopolitan. And they're unhappy because of it.

Frank doesn't actually want to be an intellectual, well-traveled man. He just wants attention. Here's what I mean:

• April buys Frank an advanced French guide intended for those who just need a refresher. But he never told her that he exaggerated his experience in France. He doesn't know French. He spent most of his week there romanticizing the awful weather. But even when he replaces the advanced French book with a beginner's book, he doesn't actually study. It's too hard. He doesn't want to learn French, he wants the attention he would get if others know he knows French.

• April is willing to move to another country so that Frank could live an intellectual life and "pursue his passions." She unintentionally calls Frank's bluff because Frank doesn't know what his passions are, because he doesn't really care about the things he talks about, he just likes attention. 

Because they're too scared to confront their authentic self, they procrastinate the process. They wait for it to get better.

And, well, it doesn't. Life doesn't work that way.

This book reminded me yet again that we cannot wait to make our lives what we want. We should act now. We won't get there overnight, sure, but it's a start.

It's important to ask yourself how you can enjoy the present moment. It's important to find joy in what you have while working towards something greater. And it's important to talk about your feelings honestly. You can't show someone how to love you if they can't even figure out who you are.