Perfectionism

I am a perfectionist. Maybe you are, too. Maybe you, too, find it hard to "relax" about work. Maybe you, too, take longer than your peers to complete the same tasks because you want to kick it up just one more notch before setting it down. 

School is an easier arena for perfectionists. You can sustain yourself with short bursts of energy and work yourself to the bone, because in a few months, you'll start over. Semester-long sprints, then vacations. Sprint, and rest. Sprint, and rest. 

I never learned how to run marathons.

Perfectionism is great if you also have self control. Which, I've learned, I don't. Instead, I have competitiveness. And that's a toxic combination.

I bite off more than I can chew. Always. This inevitably leads to one of two things:

• Things (or people) get neglected, and I feel awful.
• I mentally implode and hide from the world for a few weeks and wallow in sadness.

(Sometimes both.)

I don't know how to exist as a perfectionist in the real world. I get evaluated by my administrators, sure, but I don't get grades. There isn't really a "winner" anymore. 

Post-school life feels like I'm learning how to walk all over again. 

I was recently reading Laryn Evarts' business model, where she explains that she wanted to pick one thing and be really good at it before even thinking of expanding her company. Makes sense for a business.

Makes sense for life.

I'm not opposed to jumping into things before I'm ready, because that's how I learn best. Besides, no amount of preparation ever makes me feel ready, so I'll be waiting around forever if I wait until I feel ready to take on something new. But the crucial thing here, is to do it one at a time.

One. At. A. Time. 

Pick one thing to jump into. Become really good at it. 

Only then should I consider "expanding" into something new.

So... don't decide to start a new, difficult, high-stakes career AND learn how to do all your own chores for the first time AND move in with your boyfriend AND go to graduate school AND try to make positive lifestyle choices like eating better, exercising, less "screen" time, etc.

Because I really only have the stamina to be good at one thing. I chose the first.

I want to learn how to pace myself because I care about how well I run this race. I don't want to end up vomiting all over the sidewalk after 15 minutes.

And it's not about doing one thing at a time (who's that one-dimensional?) It's about choosing one thing to work on, and making everything else as easy, low-stress as possible.