Self Control

Let's talk addictions. But let's not use that word, because I don't want to talk about stuff your body needs to avoid withdrawal symptoms.

The kind of addictions I want to talk about are more synonymous with bad habits. Think "I'm addicted to Netflix" or "I'm addicted to Starbucks." Think about obsessively checking your phone. Think about hours of scrolling on tumblr. 

(via miggyber)

Think about how you feel when you're done. Are you ever refreshed? Do you feel energized?

Yeah, me neither.

(Side note: there's little evidence that internet addiction is a thing. Also, psychologists look for things like online gambling and excessive porn-watching, not being on facebook for 4 hours at a time.)

Compulsive behavior looks like those urges you have to do something when, objectively, you can think of more fulfilling ways to spend your time. But you feel like doing them, and those feelings somehow always win. If you've ever been unable to stick with a New Year's resolution, was it because you didn't want to? Or because it was hard to?

The best way I can describe what compulsive behavior looks like is "The Sim Rule" (stop giving me that look.) If you were controlling your life like you were a character in The Sims, would your day look the same?

My Sims jog. They garden. They don't spend nearly as much time on a computer as I do. I know what I objectively value. But I also know it's hard to get up and do those things. 

For some people, it's easy to pick up a new habit. Some people can make a decision and stick with it. Not me. I have to acknowledge that building habits is very difficult, because otherwise I'll beat myself up if I can't follow through with the resolutions I make. It's hard. I've failed before. But I'm not ready to give up.

I've talked about cutting down my time on the computer by choosing to read instead, and while I've only been semi-consistent in my follow through, I'm making progress. I feel much more relaxed, and like I have a lot more time in my day.

But there's another time-sucking trap I fall into more than I'd like to. 

2048. Flappybird. Candy Crush. If it's a game you can't set down, it's a trap. Here's why: you're going to stop playing it because you're sick of it, not because you're ready to get back to whatever you were working on before. 

Sudokus and crosswords are much better for me. I don't know if it's because you feel more accomplished when you finish them, or if they take more mental energy to play, but I play these instead of a game on my phone. You might spend more time than you originally intended, but less time than what you would inevitably spend otherwise. Here's a book at B&N for $6 that'll last you for months.

Now, if you'll excuse me, the Sunday paper awaits.